Studies show that family members of hoarders experience high levels of frustration and hostility, often developing rejecting attitudes toward the person who hoards. Knowing what to do with a hoarder is no easy task. In this blog, we’ll explore how hoarding affects family dynamics and share effective strategies to address it.
Understanding Hoarding Disorder
The first step for families to cope is recognizing hoarding as a mental disorder and its effect on them. Hoarding Disorder is a constant struggle in discarding possessions, resulting in cluttered living spaces that compromise their intended and safe use (Owen et al., 2022).
It differs from collecting things, which does not interfere with daily life. Hoarding as a mental illness leads to chronic disorganization, which obstructs living areas.
What Causes Hoarding?
The reasons behind hoarding disorder are not fully understood, but according to the Mayo Clinic (2023), genetics, brain function, and stressful life events are being studied as possible causes.
The Emotional and Physical Impacts on Family Members
Hoarding extends beyond the individual. Its toll on family members is enormous. It leaves a deep mark on their social, physical, and emotional functioning and often causes significant financial strains.
The Daily Life with a Hoarder
Cooking and cleaning become challenging due to the excessive clutter.
Navigating the living space and locating necessary items is hindered.
Social isolation takes place due to shame and embarrassment.
The Safety Hazards:
Hoarding environments attract pests, increasing the risk of infestations.
Fire hazards increase due to accumulated clutter.
Residents are exposed to harmful bacteria, mold, and mildew, posing serious health risks.
The Financial Strains:
As the volume of possessions increases, space decreases, forcing family members to move out and rent.
With excessive items accumulated, storage units become a necessity.
Supporting a Loved One: How to Manage Hoarding Behavior
Helping a hoarder requires more than patience and kindness. It calls for your deep empathy and understanding. Knowing all that this mental illness entails is the first step in feeling empathy, leading to less judgment towards your loved one.
In this video, Dr. Steketee, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, offers some tips for family members living with a hoarder. She highlights the importance of gently yet precisely addressing hoarding directly with the hoarder.
Here are some strategies to help face the challenges of having a family member who is a hoarder:
Set clear boundaries and expectations: Establish limits on clutter in shared spaces.
Avoid judgment and criticism: These will solve nothing. Instead, show empathy.
Manage Stress: Practice yoga or deep breathing to calm your nervous system.
Attend Family Therapies: Families learn to tackle the emotional and psychological sides of hoarding in a supportive environment.
Conclusion
Seeing a loved one suffer from hoarding is a harrowing and challenging experience. To best help family members who hoard, you must prioritize your own well-being - you matter, too. Learn how practicing self-compassion can be a powerful tool in fostering resilience and improved mental health on this journey.
Seek support from therapists, support groups, and hoarding specialists to create a path forward. Don’t wait—take the first step forward.
References
Owen, Jennifer, et al. “Adult safeguarding managers' understandings of self-neglect and hoarding.” Health & Social Care in the Community vol. 30,6 2022: e4405-e4415. doi:10.1111/hsc.13841
Owen, R., et al. "The Impact of Hoarding Disorder on Family Members, Especially the Significant Other." International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 2023.
Tolin, David F et al. “Family burden of compulsive hoarding: results of an internet survey.” Behavior Research and Therapy vol. 46,3 (2008): 334-44. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2007.12.008
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